Cats: The State of the Kingdom Address

It’s been awhile since we’ve talked about the cats. Probably not since the last one showed up on the doorstep, Snowy as the Missus calls it (also known as Shithead… my term) has fully established residence as we knew she would. That was inevitable from the moment the Missus put the first dish of cat food on the doorstep. The new addition has not been without problems.

Only Minnie has fully accepted the intruder. It’s like they’re related and that’s not all that improbable;  both strays, long hair, similar coloring. Brat Cat, on the other hand,  hates Shithead and will fight at the drop of a kitty treat. The gray cat, known as Blue, is so mentally unstable that she can’t tell who belongs here and who doesn’t.

Blue, if you recall and I’m sure you do, was the cat that suffered a seizure soon after moving in and has been a little goofy ever since. The other cats sense her craziness and attack her every chance they get. I think it’s a survival of the fittest thing; an attempt to keep the pride pure and strong, eliminating  the weak and unworthy.

Snowy made my list recently by killing two birds in a fifteen-minute time frame, a new, but infamous, record. And if that wasn’t enough to earn her a special place in my heart, consider that she doesn’t just meow when she wants something, she YOWLS, paces the floor, hops on the window, the table, the bed, and scratches at the door until somebody gets with the program. Did I mention that she tries to claw me every time I get close?

Naturally, with a new cat, the support staff (the Missus) needs to step up her game a little, raise the bar, care and feeding upgraded. Here’s a quick rundown of the present kitty facilities. I am not making this up.

Litter boxes: 4, yes 4.

Food dishes–– always full of Friskies: 6, five indoor, 1 outdoor.

Water bowls: 5, 4 in, 1 out, and that’s not counting the indoor fountain, their favorite.

What cat in their right mind (Blue as the exception) would want to leave such a paradise?

Result of the upgrades?  You can’t take a step without kicking Friskies all over the floor or getting your foot wet.

It’ll drive a man to drink.


Published in: on April 2, 2015 at 12:59 pm  Leave a Comment  

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