Am I the only one that can’t communicate with tech support? I thought it was because I’m hearing impaired, deaf as a stump, and didn’t understand what the techies were telling me. Of course the accent of many of them doesn’t help. But today, I got U.S. help from the great state of Georgia no less (I asked). Finally, I thought, someone who can understand Okie. And I can talk South all day.
The device in question is a call blocker. Its soul function is to block those never-ending, pull your hair out, irritating, morning to night, calls that come only when you’re sleeping, eating, or watching the ending of the most suspenseful movie ever made. It was getting ridiculous.
The gadget seemed simple enough. It had four buttons; Block List, Call List, Block Now, and Delete. You simply scroll through your recent calls and if you see a bad boy in there, mash that big red BLOCK NOW and that sob will never call you during happy hour again. It worked great…for three days. Then the first glitch shows up.
The IRS guy called. You know him, the one who says they never received your tax payment and please send it to a P.O. Box in Camden, New Jersey. That guy. I couldn’t get to the block button fast enough. I scroll the call list, but instead of the IRS guy, I get a jumble of numbers, some with only three digits, others with five or six.
That’s when I called the gal in Georgia. No really, she was there. She had the accent and everything. Talked like molasses runs. The real deal.
She asks my full name, my email address, my phone number, what the model number is, and even what state I’m in. I ask you, what possible difference does it make what state I’m in to get a couple questions answered? She needs none of that, well, maybe the model number, but that’s all.
What’s more, she couldn’t answer my question. “Did you check our web site?” she asks.
“Do you mean the one that has pages and pages of stupid questions. The one where your search box shows ZERO results for my inquiry? That one?”
“Sir, you mentioned you have another question. Maybe I can help you with that one.’
“Your device has a Delete button as well as instructions on how to delete an accidental blocked number by entering a series of pounds, stars, and numbers. Doesn’t the Delete button do the same thing?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
Did I mention this thing has only four buttons? It’s not like the cockpit of a 747 for Pete’s sake. It was obvious that her brain was running the same speed as her Georgia drawl.
“I’ll pass this on to tech support,” she says. “But isn’t this the number for tech support?” “Yes, she explains, but I’m moving you to another level.”
Repeat, four buttons. I guess her level only covers two buttons.
The boys in India have never looked so good.